Share your experiences here by telling your stories. Please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed as many of us have experienced the same or similar situations and we are not here to judge but to support and guide you. Please include also any successes which have seen these evil persons brought to justice. For legal reasons, please leave out names but do include the country. These stories have been placed in the country order of the foreign spouse. Hopefully, it will make it easier for members to see where these frauds are coming from.
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Marriage Fraud Stories from Albania
A’s story 24.1.15
My ex-husband was an Albanian. I met him in U.K, started dating and then married in his country – Albania. I thought at the time, what a wonderful family man he was, he seemed to care very much for his parents and siblings and only later I realised that this family love was only directed to his blood family, to his country.
I was only his tool to use to support his family. As soon as I sponsored ‘his poor family’ on one occasion, soon another occasion arose. They were poor, they needed help, they had no electricity, no food, no work prospects, we had to help them – with my money. Then my husband needed to travel, all with my money. My ex-husband tricked me into buying things we did not need, manipulated me to constantly supporting his family. That came to thousands of pounds.
The beginning of marriage seemed to be working well, but over months it seemed to me that we were almost leading separate lives. He liked to do things with his family members, his friends, I was kind of never 100 % included. There was just something missing, that love bond, family life; so I questioned him about it. He would reply that it was an Albanian way, and that I was imagining things. Mind you, he never wore a wedding ring, and he never planned for the future.
A few years into our marriage, my husband received his British Citizenship, then the British Passport, all paid for by myself. Very soon after receiving his British Passport, about 3 months, he run away while I was out, with all the belongings that I paid for. There was no sign, no warning that this may happen. There was no reason. He was actually very friendly towards me on the night before his disappearance. He did it with premeditation, decided marriage was over. He had what he wanted : Passport and financial gain.
Interesting, he was asking me for cash, offering to do some shopping, also asking for a certain expenditure to be sponsored by myself of course, but when I told him to find a job and to pay for it, he got angry and that led into a small argument. What I believed, but since that, he did not want to speak to me much. All these he asked just days before he run away.
Later after running away, he claimed that the marriage just wasn’t working and he had to go. Never mind all the money he extorted from me, there was no intention of any money being given to me back. He never tried to reconcile, try to repair, just said it was over. He demanded a divorce, in his country, but I refused and later I received it in U.K, what he did not want to do. He wanted in his country. Maybe because he was already married to the pregnant woman he brought with him, some time after from Albania. Of course he would bring her, on his British Passport, that he only got by being married to me, and all paid for by me.
When one goes for the ceremony to receive a British Citizenship, they ought to swear to be good citizens. It did not take him very long after, to brake the marriage for no reason, only on his rules, taking all the possessions that I paid for. Is that a good citizen? Then on his return to United Kingdom, after being questioned by myself, I received warnings, death threats and was being intimidated by him and certain people around him, including his new woman.
It took me a long time to realise and to accept that I was/am a victim of a marriage fraud. I heard stories like that before but never thought it would happen to me, until it happened. I am so grateful to this website Immigration Marriage Fraud Uk, because it brings some hope, some comfort, that there is some fight against these fraudsters. I hope that my story and the stories of other people , the victims like myself, will bring a change to the law, to bring on serious consequences against these criminals, and it will prevent many further case to be happening, creating more victims.
This man, who used me and he is not just a marriage fraud, he is a criminal, as he extorted thousands of pounds from me, knowing he will never recompense to me in any way, knowing that he will leave me soon, as he tried to take from me to the last days of living with me. He used the marriage as an excuse. This man used me emotionally, physically, financially and left a deep wound to heal, to bring life to normality.
During the marriage, I worked, I cooked, I looked after home, I was a faithful wife. He had no reason to leave, but during the marriage he often complained : food was wrong, my way of life was wrong, so I say: why did he marry me? I believe that his intention was to annoy me to such point, that I would be the one who would tell him to go away, to leave,, than he would have an excuse , that it would be my fault, these people have their ways...
I know one thing now, a few years after being conned, this man took a lot of money from me, used me, only because of this marriage he is in this country, and he did it because he could, because there seems to be no law against him, because it is so difficult to prove, especially at the early stage of the braking of the marriage. As the years pass by, one realises that they were the victims of fraudsters that use people with good intentions. Any man, any woman, any person with a good intention of marriage, does not use the other spouse for huge amounts of money, does not brake the marriage over in seconds, disappearing, does not just leave without any intentions to reconcile, to repair if needed, does not put threats after braking the marriage, and especially that if such person gained the benefit of being in this country. They took a responsibility to show that this marriage was real, if the marriage is broken, after a short time of receiving the British Citizenship, this should make it automatically invalid. (Only special cases, and proven cases may be considered for this marriage to stay valid) as these people lie, the whole marriage is the lie.
The public needs to be aware of these cons that use the marriage for their entrance into this country, they use their spouses , and think that there is no law against them, something needs to be done to protect its citizens.
Marriage Fraud Stories from the Ukraine
N’s story – March 2015 – False Accusation of Domestic Violence
It may exist on this site, and if it does I appologise for reposting again, but my experience is as a male who married a Ukrainian national.
After having gone through the process of organising a visa for my wife and step daughter, payed the money and provided all documents etc etc. My then wife asked me if I would accept money to allow her and her daughter to leave and still tell the respective agencies we were together to protect her visa status. This was within a week of getting the visa, and I took action recording my wifes appeal so as to cover my back. When I refused her kind offer I was told by her she would not leave and that she would make my life hell and get what she wanted anyway. I was naive and refused to believe that I was in any danger. She then professed her undying love for me and told me her outbursts were all because of stress and drinking too much.....queue the naivity on my part.
What she then did would almost seem to the rational person impossible. She drank and drank and drank abused me both physically mentally and emotionaly to the point I was forced to call the police out on numerous occasions. If I refused her entry into the family home while drunk she would call the police. If I confronted her on her drinking (bearing in mind on numerous occasions she left her 4yr old daughter alone in home or I found her passed out in house while her daughter was there) she would call the police. On each occasion I explained fully to the police what was happening, though in truth I was unsure what was happening. She would from one day to the next move from a drunken mad person to a sweet and innocent person. I was left doubting my own sanity and found myself withdrawing into my shell, loosing contact with all my friends and becoming a virtual hermit.
Relatively soon before she left I recieved a letter from DWP HMRC refering to working/child tax credits she had been recieving asking her to clarify childcare costs and salary. When I asked her about it she physically forced me to go on a holiday to Tunisia which I had prepurchased but had already told her to go on by herself with her daughter (so that I could get a break from her druken abuse) and within a few weeks of our return she was gone...............but here's the rub.
within a few hours of me loading my furniture and stuff into the back of her van, I get a knock on the door from two police officers who tell me that they were called for a suspected possible domestic incidence, afew minutes later i'm visited by a court official and served with a non molestation order! This order would stop me contacting my wife and finding out where she had gone. To be issued such an order without me being present in court she provided a statement to the court that she was too afraid to tell me she was leaving and needed the courts protection to do so. Within the statement she refered to the calls I had made to the police and social services (regarding leaving her daughter alone in the house) as her own....even providing the police reports which clearly state that I had made the calls and that police attending had found her drunk. At this point I felt confident that having done nothing wrong I would be able to prove a bulk of what was in her statement to be false and have this thrown out of court. However it was also at this point that I understod what her game had been and also that no matter the truth or right or wrong, I would be on the loosing side. Why so?
Firstly the courts. When I showed the courts that my wife had actually told me she was going and more so that I had organised transport and helped her load my stuff into the truck, they saw no contradiction in these facts against the premise of why the order had been issued in the first place....that she was too scared to leave and didn't want me to find out and needed protection. Also the courts said they could draw no inference from the fact that any statement she had made that could be proved a lie had been, by accepting that on the balance of probability those statements that were heresay could still be true. I was told by the judge that if I contested the order I would fail and subsequently didnt contest on the basis that no guilt had been admitted and that discourse was still open via mediation and solicitors. I required this avenue of discourse as shortly after my wife left I was told by HMRC that she had falsely cliamed over £5k in tax credits that (as I could not tell them where she now was) they would take from me. I also wanted to seek recourse for her credit card debt that I was liable for on the same basis and also the joint savings account she had cleared......in total close to £15k.
My wife refused mediation or to answer any solicitor letters on the matter and out of frustration I contacted her to ask her please to respond and was later arrested and spent in total two weeks in police cells.
What was her point? Well as it turns out the only way a non eu national can stay in UK after a marriage break up is if she can prove that she was in an abusive relationship and had to leave through no fault of her own. As it stands within UK law it is very easy to accuse a man of this and very difficult to deffend against it. So much so that with the help of a Russian speaking friend, we were able to find website forums that explain exactely how to use the UK system to stay in the country....even giving the emotive words you should use to police and courts!
I later found out from police and solicitors that the fact I had called the police while being abused myself was viewed as admission of guilt on my part....the logic being that an abuser would blame the woman to cover his own abuse. When I asked for a divorce on basis of it being a false /sham marriage I was told by the judge (bearing in mind at this point I had gathered evidence that she had been in a false marriage prior to ours and also in UK on false student visa prior to that and had her recorded offering me money to lie to UKBA) that all women enter into marriage with an agenda, be it to have children or as in this case, to procure a visa!!
In all I felt let down by every service that I had assumed would help me.
POLICE: police treated me like the criminal even though I was the one being abused and though I had conversations totaling many hours with police the only thing I was offered as far as help was a leaflet on AA.
COURTS: the protection for women and men in the courts is not equal. Against an allegation you are guilty until you can prove your innocence and the courts, not wanting to make a mistake and put a woman in harms way err on the side of extreme caution and predjudice towards the woman.
SOCIAL SERVICES: when I made a call regarding finding my step daughter alone in the house on more than 5 occasions while my wife was out buying alcohol and on at least 10 occasions of finding my wife passed out in the property while looking after my step daughter, they arranged to interview us seperately. They spent an hour with my wife and did not turn up for the appointment with me....after chasing them for months I was told the case had been closed NFA. This having not even spoken to me, the person who had raised the concern!!
GP: all through this period I had explained my situation to my GP, who had at first giggled at the idea I was being abused by my wife, and had then organised (after I had to resort to thoughts of suicide) therapy and pills to deal with the affect of abuse. This represented conversations spaning over a year and totaling hours and hours. After 1 ten minute conversation with a female GP at my practice my wife was presented with a letter asking all relevant authorities to "help this poor unfortuante woman..." THey admitted, after I brought in the antidepressants"unopened" that they had given her at the time, and also the facst she had not attended any of the therapy sessions , that they had used language that assumed guilt on my part without doing any proper checks and had not even looked at my records that had preceeded my wifes appointment by over twelve months.
UKBA: I presented all my evidence to the UKBA evidence of her previous false marriage, recordings of her offering money etc and was told they did not have the staff to investigate and that even if they did all they could do was ask my wife to politely leave the country, so that it was not in the public interest to pursue....ie worth their time or money.
After having exhausted all avenues I decided to start civil proceedings to hold her to account for the money she had stollen. But did not have an address to serve her any legal papers. To this end I approached the reception of where she worked while with me. I recorded said conversation, where I asked if post sent to their address would be recieved by this staff member. I was offered details of her working hours and even asked if I would like her to be called to reception...to which I answered no and left. Happy knowing I had at least a postal address to send letter from solicitor. Two days later I was arrested at 4pm on Friday accused of terrorising my ex wife. In a statement she said that I had harrassed staff at reception for details of her working hours and had made her feel fearful for her life. When I told police I had recorded the conversation they refused to listen to recording, when I asked if they had spoken to the receptionist or any other staff member, they had not. I spent Friday, Sat, Sun, Monday until tuesday afternoon in a police cell. I was not allowed out of my cell. I was allowed to wash once in a sink and given paper towels to dry myself, was provided no food or water in first 24hours, given only a blanket and no pillow to sleep and told that they could not turn the light out in my cell. After having bother to speak to staff on Tuesday they released agreeing that I had done nothing wrong and that my version of events was correct. When I asked if they would pursue my ex wife for making what was clearly a false alegation I was told no. So I took drastic action, leaving the town I had spent 20+ years in, where my son lives and my friends and ran away defeated. How could I stay in a place where someone can simle make up an allegation and have you pulled from your house and thrown in a cell and not be held accountable for the lies and the trauma they cause?
I would be happy to share any further info you feel will help your cause and bring attention to something I believe is effecting people at the very moment I write this post. The nature of this scam and the abuse it relies on will no doubt leave suffers in the same state I was left while it was happening to me. As I loved my wife I did everything to try to reconcile the situation and because i believed in the vows I had taken and primarily for the welfare of my step daughter I stayed in a situation that any sane person would have run a mile from. My wife used any excuse to justify her drinking and mental/emotional/physical abuse. If I went out I was cheating on her, if I text friends or family for advice (she had set up internet access to my mobile and home phone account, had somehow made her e-mail address the default address to my e-mail account and so recieved details of my password) I was accused of cheating....even if I was quiet and subdued after days of dealing with her drunken abuse this would be used a excuse to drink again. As I was living this I was not aware what her purpose was and so of course tried to stop all the things that were bringing on these episodes. All this brought was isolation and doubt of my own sanity.....which in hindsight worked in her advantage. When you are faced with the madness I was faced with on a daily basis without the input from a thirdparty, situations that to an outsider that would seem mad, will continue....no doubt something any abused person would empathise with. I think on top of this, as a man, I found it quite difficult to admit the position I found myself in. I imagine there are many men like myself who would keep quiet out of embarrasment or shame.
As a point of interest: Having fought to find help for the abuse I suffered at the hands of my ex wife I stumbled upon Mankind charity. I remember my first call to them where I started to explain I had married a Ukrainian and the king lady I was speaking to stopped me before I had had a chance to explain what had happened. She then, without prompting, told me the story of my experience. When I asked her how she could possibly know what had happened she told me that in the SW alone in the last twelve months their chartity had dealt with over 300 calls relating to the very same scam. THis is an issue which affects 1000's of men in the UK, is a back door into this country that leaves victims like me with no closure and as shells of the person they were. It uses the very agencies we would expect help from against us and shows the stark inequality of the protection that men and women recieve in this country we call home.
N’s story – March 2015 – False Accusation of Domestic Violence
It may exist on this site, and if it does I apologise for reposting again, but my experience is as a male who married a Ukrainian national.
After having gone through the process of organising a visa for my wife and step daughter, paid the money and provided all documents etc. My then wife asked me if I would accept money to allow her and her daughter to leave and still tell the respective agencies we were together to protect her visa status. This was within a week of getting the visa, and I took action recording my wife’s appeal so as to cover my back. When I refused her kind offer I was told by her she would not leave and that she would make my life hell and get what she wanted anyway. I was naive and refused to believe that I was in any danger. She then professed her undying love for me and told me her outbursts were all because of stress and drinking too much.....queue the naivety on my part.
What she then did would almost seem to the rational person impossible. She drank and drank and drank abused me both physically mentally and emotionally to the point I was forced to call the police out on numerous occasions. If I refused her entry into the family home while drunk she would call the police. If I confronted her on her drinking (bearing in mind on numerous occasions she left her 4yr old daughter alone in home or I found her passed out in house while her daughter was there) she would call the police. On each occasion I explained fully to the police what was happening, though in truth I was unsure what was happening. She would from one day to the next move from a drunken mad person to a sweet and innocent person. I was left doubting my own sanity and found myself withdrawing into my shell, loosing contact with all my friends and becoming a virtual hermit.
Relatively soon before she left I received a letter from DWP HMRC referring to working/child tax credits she had been receiving asking her to clarify childcare costs and salary. When I asked her about it she physically forced me to go on a holiday to Tunisia which I had pre-purchased but had already told her to go on by herself with her daughter (so that I could get a break from her drunken abuse) and within a few weeks of our return she was gone...............but here's the rub.
within a few hours of me loading my furniture and stuff into the back of her van, I get a knock on the door from two police officers who tell me that they were called for a suspected possible domestic incidence, a few minutes later I’m visited by a court official and served with a non molestation order! This order would stop me contacting my wife and finding out where she had gone. To be issued such an order without me being present in court she provided a statement to the court that she was too afraid to tell me she was leaving and needed the courts protection to do so. Within the statement she referred to the calls I had made to the police and social services (regarding leaving her daughter alone in the house) as her own....even providing the police reports which clearly state that I had made the calls and that police attending had found her drunk. At this point I felt confident that having done nothing wrong I would be able to prove a bulk of what was in her statement to be false and have this thrown out of court. However it was also at this point that I understood what her game had been and also that no matter the truth or right or wrong, I would be on the losing side. Why so?
Firstly the courts. When I showed the courts that my wife had actually told me she was going and more so that I had organised transport and helped her load my stuff into the truck, they saw no contradiction in these facts against the premise of why the order had been issued in the first place....that she was too scared to leave and didn't want me to find out and needed protection. Also the courts said they could draw no inference from the fact that any statement she had made that could be proved a lie had been, by accepting that on the balance of probability those statements that were hearsay could still be true. I was told by the judge that if I contested the order I would fail and subsequently didn’t contest on the basis that no guilt had been admitted and that discourse was still open via mediation and solicitors. I required this avenue of discourse as shortly after my wife left I was told by HMRC that she had falsely claimed over £5k in tax credits that (as I could not tell them where she now was) they would take from me. I also wanted to seek recourse for her credit card debt that I was liable for on the same basis and also the joint savings account she had cleared......in total close to £15k.
My wife refused mediation or to answer any solicitor letters on the matter and out of frustration I contacted her to ask her please to respond and was later arrested and spent in total two weeks in police cells.
What was her point? Well as it turns out the only way a non EU national can stay in UK after a marriage break up is if she can prove that she was in an abusive relationship and had to leave through no fault of her own. As it stands within UK law it is very easy to accuse a man of this and very difficult to defend against it. So much so that with the help of a Russian speaking friend, we were able to find website forums that explain exactly how to use the UK system to stay in the country....even giving the emotive words you should use to police and courts!
I later found out from police and solicitors that the fact I had called the police while being abused myself was viewed as admission of guilt on my part....the logic being that an abuser would blame the woman to cover his own abuse. When I asked for a divorce on basis of it being a false /sham marriage I was told by the judge (bearing in mind at this point I had gathered evidence that she had been in a false marriage prior to ours and also in UK on false student visa prior to that and had her recorded offering me money to lie to UKBA) that all women enter into marriage with an agenda, be it to have children or as in this case, to procure a visa!!
In all I felt let down by every service that I had assumed would help me:
POLICE: police treated me like the criminal even though I was the one being abused and though I had conversations totalling many hours with police the only thing I was offered as far as help was a leaflet on AA.
COURTS: the protection for women and men in the courts is not equal. Against an allegation you are guilty until you can prove your innocence and the courts, not wanting to make a mistake and put a woman in harm’s way err on the side of extreme caution and prejudice towards the woman.
SOCIAL SERVICES: when I made a call regarding finding my step daughter alone in the house on more than 5 occasions while my wife was out buying alcohol and on at least 10 occasions of finding my wife passed out in the property while looking after my step daughter, they arranged to interview us separately. They spent an hour with my wife and did not turn up for the appointment with me....after chasing them for months I was told the case had been closed NFA. This having not even spoken to me, the person who had raised the concern!!
GP: all through this period I had explained my situation to my GP, who had at first giggled at the idea I was being abused by my wife, and had then organised (after I had to resort to thoughts of suicide) therapy and pills to deal with the affect of abuse. This represented conversations spanning over a year and totalling hours and hours. After 1 ten minute conversation with a female GP at my practice my wife was presented with a letter asking all relevant authorities to "help this poor unfortunate woman..." They admitted, after I brought in the antidepressants “unopened" that they had given her at the time, and also the facts she had not attended any of the therapy sessions, that they had used language that assumed guilt on my part without doing any proper checks and had not even looked at my records that had preceded my wife’s appointment by over twelve months.
UKBA: I presented all my evidence to the UKBA evidence of her previous false marriage, recordings of her offering money etc and was told they did not have the staff to investigate and that even if they did all they could do was ask my wife to politely leave the country, so that it was not in the public interest to pursue....i.e. worth their time or money.
After having exhausted all avenues I decided to start civil proceedings to hold her to account for the money she had stolen. But did not have an address to serve her any legal papers. To this end I approached the reception of where she worked while with me. I recorded said conversation, where I asked if post sent to their address would be received by this staff member. I was offered details of her working hours and even asked if I would like her to be called to reception...to which I answered no and left. Happy knowing I had at least a postal address to send letter from solicitor. Two days later I was arrested at 4pm on Friday accused of terrorising my ex wife. In a statement she said that I had harassed staff at reception for details of her working hours and had made her feel fearful for her life. When I told police I had recorded the conversation they refused to listen to recording, when I asked if they had spoken to the receptionist or any other staff member, they had not. I spent Friday, Sat, Sun, and Monday until Tuesday afternoon in a police cell. I was not allowed out of my cell. I was allowed to wash once in a sink and given paper towels to dry myself, was provided no food or water in first 24hours, given only a blanket and no pillow to sleep and told that they could not turn the light out in my cell. After having bothered to speak to staff on Tuesday they released agreeing that I had done nothing wrong and that my version of events was correct. When I asked if they would pursue my ex wife for making what was clearly a false allegation I was told no. So I took drastic action, leaving the town I had spent 20+ years in, where my son lives and my friends and ran away defeated. How could I stay in a place where someone can simply make up an allegation and have you pulled from your house and thrown in a cell and not be held accountable for the lies and the trauma they cause?
I would be happy to share any further info you feel will help your cause and bring attention to something I believe is effecting people at the very moment I write this post. The nature of this scam and the abuse it relies on will no doubt leave suffers in the same state I was left while it was happening to me. As I loved my wife I did everything to try to reconcile the situation and because I believed in the vows I had taken and primarily for the welfare of my step daughter I stayed in a situation that any sane person would have run a mile from. My wife used any excuse to justify her drinking and mental/emotional/physical abuse.
If I went out I was cheating on her, if I text friends or family for advice (she had set up internet access to my mobile and home phone account, had somehow made her e-mail address the default address to my e-mail account and so received details of my password) I was accused of cheating....even if I was quiet and subdued after days of dealing with her drunken abuse this would be used a excuse to drink again. As I was living this I was not aware what her purpose was and so of course tried to stop all the things that were bringing on these episodes. All this brought was isolation and doubt of my own sanity.....which in hindsight worked in her advantage. When you are faced with the madness I was faced with on a daily basis without the input from a third-party, situations that to an outsider that would seem mad, will continue....no doubt something any abused person would empathise with. I think on top of this, as a man, I found it quite difficult to admit the position I found myself in. I imagine there are many men like myself who would keep quiet out of embarrassment or shame.
As a point of interest: Having fought to find help for the abuse I suffered at the hands of my ex wife I stumbled upon Mankind charity. I remember my first call to them where I started to explain I had married a Ukrainian and the king lady I was speaking to stopped me before I had had a chance to explain what had happened. She then, without prompting, told me the story of my experience. When I asked her how she could possibly know what had happened she told me that in the SW alone in the last twelve months their charity had dealt with over 300 calls relating to the very same scam. This is an issue which affects 1000's of men in the UK, is a back door into this country that leaves victims like me with no closure and as shells of the person they were. It uses the very agencies we would expect help from against us and shows the stark inequality of the protection that men and women receive in this country we call home.
Below are a few other examples of how the cards are stacked against the honest male victim.
1) My ex was provided with legal aid to present her allegations against me, provided with housing and given money to stay in the country I am a citizen of. However legal aid is not provided to the victim of such false allegations to fight for their innocence.
2) When my e-mail account was hacked and all e-mails between me and my then wife were deleted (many of which would have helped me fight what was happening to me) I was told by police it was not a crime, this by a Chief Inspector. When I challenged this I was told it was not in the public interest to investigate. When I provided evidence of the IP address from which my e mail account had been hacked and it fell within 250mtr radius of where I suspected my ex wife then lived, I was told that if I persisted they would arrest me for harassing my wife!!!
3) when I received over 20 calls late at night on my home phone from a withheld number prior to divorce hearing, in which a foreign sounding male suggested I would have endless trouble if I contested divorce based on :unreasonable behaviour" on my part, the police refused to investigate. When I pushed them they said they would. After 5weeks I get a call from the officer in charge who states he made a mistake in the form he filled out and would have to start again. ^ weeks later a further call from the same officer to say that he had again filled in incorrect form and finally a further 4 weeks later a call to say they would not pay the £20 to request a data protection override from the telecom provider to release the information they needed!!
4) When my home was broken into and all that was stolen was documents pertaining to my marriage and my ex's previous marriage I was told by police they would not investigate as it was probably a domestic situation. Again when I pressed them they said they would send a CSI person to check for evidence. No one showed up and yet a few weeks later I received a letter from CSI to advise me their investigation had been inconclusive!! When I called them to ask how they could send such a letter when no one had attended the property, I was told it was an admin error, but it was now too late to attend!!
5) on one occasion when I asked my wife how she could be so cruel and couldn't she see what she was doing to me, she answered "I'm a woman you are a man, my feelings are more important so live with it".....to which I responded...."I hope when you meet your maker you will have a better answer than that." On the basis of that conversation she was able to call the police and have me arrested on the basis of have threatened to kill her!!! And I spent another two nights in police custody.......having released me as again I had done nothing wrong the police offered to drive me home. On the ride home I said to the police, sarcastically, that I was shocked that they could so easily be manipulated and that they would only see the truth if I wrote a note and pinned it to a tree next to my burning body. Even though I told the officer it was a sarcastic remark they locked me up for a further 8 hours awaiting a psych evaluation!!!
Maybe I am wrong, but I see these occasions as proof that there really is no help in situations like mine (and I could list another 20+ things equally as bizarre). Quite rightly the system in place to protect the most vulnerable people in society should have the power to act first to protect....but this should always be on the assumption that after acting, someone then checks...did we act correctly? And also, did the person who got us to act have any possible motivation for doing so other than simply protecting themselves?
As a victim of a scam, as a victim of abuse I had all the pain and horror of what I went through thrown right back in my face by the very system I relied on to protect me. I spent a year in therapy and still take antidepressants; I am still paying off my ex's debt each month leaving me short of money for heating and food and spend each day hoping it will be my last, resigned in my own head to a lonely pointless existence until I die.
Marriage Fraud Stories from India
My ex wife, deceived me into a marriage.
I went to India a year after my father’s funeral, and her family approached mine asking me whether I wanted to get married to their daughter. Initially I refused, but through persuasion and mainly lies I agreed, but I wanted to get to know her more.
We arranged the marriage for the following year; throughout the year I use to send her flowers and birthday cakes, valentine cards etc. We seemed to be getting on but it looked like a very one sided affair as I did not receive the same back. I thought this was due to her living in India, and not working was difficult for her and her family.
I knew her dad was living illegally in USA so he could not attend the wedding; most of the expenditure was paid for by me and my family.
During the marriage, it was a very one-sided marriage, I used to buy her anything she wanted, but I did not get anything in return. She constantly complained about living in the UK; she hated the food, the meat, the milk, the weather. She was constantly moaning about life in the UK.
I helped her get her ILR, helped her get a job in the UK at Noons in Southall. Soon after she got her ILR in the UK, she said she wanted to go to Canada to a cousin’s wedding. I later found out there was no wedding it was a complete lie.
Without being married to me she would not have obtained a Canadian visa, when she got to Canada she didn’t return to the UK until 6 months later and then went to her friend’s house whose sister also has done the same thing to a guy in USA.
When she was due to fly back to the UK, I called her the day before and she sounded fine on the phone. The day before she was due to fly back, I got a text from someone else’s phone saying "I am not feeling well, I am not coming back yet and can you transfer £1500 into my account", which I refused to do.
I later found out she was telling numerous lies to her work mates and friends trying to discredit me and my family.
She also told lies on her visa application form to Canada, I told her she shouldn't put lies on the form, but she said that’s the only way she would get her visa, which she successfully obtained. I did inform the Canadian authorities but it looks like they don’t seem bothered. Her family was also trying to persuade me to get her a visa to USA, but I refused.
Her friend and her husband are assisting my ex wife in her lies and deception. She is now trying to get a British Passport so she can help to get her mother and her brother (a drug-addict) based in Rurkha, India to the UK, because of the UK's generous benefit system.
Her father is an illegal immigrant in USA who is helping them finance their deception and lies.
Both mother and daughter stay in Canada at their so called cousin's house, who appeared out of the blue.
He apparently is a business man and owns LaSalle Autos in Canada, he is also helping the whole family settle outside of India.
My ex-wife travels to Canada then returns to the UK after six months as that is the condition of her Canadian visa, and her mother seems to do the same but she goes to India.
She and family deceived me into a marriage in order to get her out of the poverty in India, so she could be free to travel to other countries, and eventually either settle in Canada or USA but she needs to fleece the UK benefit system and lapse regulations to achieve this.
I want everyone to be aware of this evil woman.
She left me in June 2012. I am a British male, of Indian origin. My wife was Indian; she was born and bred in the Punjab region of India. Sounds a bit cheesy but I went to visit family members in India after 15 years as I never really needed to go it was more like heck my family has land there and other family members there that I don’t even know.
I went with the intention of a family holiday, I was always a bit ethical in my approach to life. Growing up in the UK I had plenty of opportunities to mess around with the ladies but decided not to due to my inner guidance which could have been attributed from my Sikh faith. Who knows I call it my inner peace. Anyway I had seen growing up, girls and boys messing around with each other and getting their hearts broken but I didn't want to hurt a girl's soul or be the cause of that pain. It felt to deep for me, so I always waited for the one.
I was told as a young man that women in India were more, cultured more homely, blah blah blah... Anyway as I arrived in India I saw family members and people started showing me young women. I guess I probably knew in the back of my mind that they might try and fix an arranged marriage out there for me, but I always thought I was not going to find any of these women attractive. I was used to seeing ladies all hair straightened and made up as ladies do in the UK.
Then they showed me her! Attractive looking I thought, fine. We got talking. I guess it was a bit like speed dating but without the wining and dining. Before I could ask any questions like how are you, what are you into she comes out with the question " What type of women do you fancy?"
I'm looking at her all dolled up remember a virgin inexperienced with the other side and I blurt out "will someone like you I guess!" As soon as that came out my mouth she knew I fancied her and she pushed to get married with the rest of the conversation. Will I think hay! Maybe she is more cultured and the rest of the stuff I had been told of in the past was going through my mind as I had been told as a young man.
Then she starts missed calling me constantly which was weird, but I thought I was really lucky that she wanted to be with me I mean I wasn't an unattractive young man and I had my fair share of attention in the UK as well. I thought she would maybe calm down after a few days. Nope the constant missed calling carried on. y mother and father were getting concerned at this point as they did not know the area, where she was from and were hesitant of me marrying her due to her forward actions and the family member that had set up the meeting.
I thought nothing of it though and at the time I thought just a young girl who was happy to marry her husband. Then after a few more days they set up the engagement for me and her. After 2 weeks staying in India and speaking to her on the phone, I set to leave to come back home to the UK thinking yeah I've met nice lady there. The families then plan the wedding for the year after.... She would ring home and whenever my brother or a friend would pick up the phone she would start to flirt with them. This is when my concerns were aroused.
After having her flirt with a few of my family and friend members on the phone I begin to question the relationship and ask my mother and father to stop the wedding. They tell me no as they say they will lose face. That I picked her and I didn't listen to them when they were hesitant about her and that I had picked the problem and now it was for me to resolve it. So I pick up on it in a conversation with her asking her is it ok to be so hurtful to your husband to be? She assures me she will change her flirting ways, she didn't realise she was being hurtful to me and that she would be more focused on me and love respect and honour me, (biggest lie she told).
So here we go a year on and we get married. I book us into the honeymoon suite at the Hilton Hotel in Gurgaon. First night together she humiliates. Man I wanted to walk out and leave her there and then, she definitely knew what she was doing she showed no compassion or love, she was just cold and I felt raped. She obviously wasn't thinking about satisfying me or loving me but was trying to pass the time to get herself into the UK.
Even then as it was my first time I thought that was how people make love. I carried on in this unfulfilling relationship. On wedding I could only get 2 weeks holiday from my job so I had one week, that went through my wedding and the other week I spent with my ex-wife. After the disaster of a honeymoon I was in pain the whole of my last week due to some infection I had caught off her. I was very swollen and I waited until I got into the UK to get it treated. I went to my GP and told him about my swelling he was the one who told me I was infected and gave me some antibiotics to clear the infection. After I found out what was the cause of the swelling I asked the ex-wife if she had slept with someone else before our wedding she totally denied it obviously and me not knowing much about sex and sexual health department accepted her answer after all she had become my wife by then so I just didn't know what to do or who to talk to about it and just accepted it.
Anyway, 6 to 9 months later; cannot remember now after the wedding she arrives into the UK. She never talked to me about herself only about her family and what people were doing at the time never about her past. We lived like this throughout the marriage I thought she may have been distant due to her missing her family so I let her ring back home whenever she wanted which was every day. Now I realise that she wasn't ringing her family but her boyfriend. The hardest part for me was when in September 2011 she became pregnant with my child I thought maybe this was the change we needed that maybe she had would finally start to open up to me, but she didn't.
After the miscarriage now I have come to realise that she could have caused the miscarriage on purpose. At the time I was not as aware as it being my first baby as well I thought that maybe she had made a mistake and that we would try again after her body felt better. I have now come to understand that she went through with the miscarriage to make her case look stronger in case I try to pass her information onto immigration about the fraud. When family members rang to ask to see how she and I were they did not know that she had left me and she started bragging to other family members on how she sent her passport to wherever she is living now the second week it came and how she played me for a fool. I have had no contact from her since she left apart from one phone call that my brother was unfortunate enough to answer and he swore at her and put the phone down. The other contact has been from a solicitors of hers asking me for a divorce and assets. I also received a phone call from her father and brother threatening me in July about my father’s land in India if we do not pay up the money she is demanding in the divorce settlement.
Apparently they are related to a prominent politician in the Punjab. So life goes on. God knows when this farce will end. I have sent the information to the UKBA but I don’t think they have deported her or if they ever will. Like I said the government needs to look into this properly. If not for the individual then at least for the country do we really want people like this in our country?
CS November 2014
Surviving.... just. I am a professional and certified Project and Programme manager and a victim of Immigration Marriage Fraud. Although I consider myself well travelled and culturally aware I have been duped and cruelly deceived and manipulated in every possible way over the past 10 years. Initially I was careful and wary of my eventual husband, as we met through my work in India and for the first 4 years I checked his education - he has a degree and had a private boarding school education at a prestigious school - his background, family, and even asked other trusted Indian friends to check him out both here and in India. My husband even expressed that he had no desire to come to the UK initially. Once convinced I was in a long lasting mutually loving, trustable and unconditional relationship we married in May 2009. We had many challenges and seemed to be totally into each other, overcoming all obstacles.
I supported him and his family and therefore he has had tens of thousands of my hard earned pounds from me including help in purchasing the family home in India. Earlier this year when my husband returned from a trip home to India, he travelled home to ensure all was well 3-4 times a year, he displayed a complete change of character which arose my suspicions for the first time as he suddenly asked to divorce but still live together as partners.
Shockingly and believe me it has been terrible I have discovered through investigation that my complete relationship and marriage is a sham and he bigamously and illegally married another woman 146 days after marrying me in 2009. Further and even more shocking this 2nd marriage was planned as this was his first trip home after we were married and his 2nd wife is aware. In fact they were engaged before he arrived in the UK to marry me. We have been married for 5 years. This has led to his fraudulent applications to UKBA and there is other fraudulent activities being investigated.
The web of lies and deceit is enormous and at one point there was one revelation after another discovered almost daily. In March my husband threatened my life and home and has been summonsed to court in October to answer to the charge of Harassment. I feel ashamed, guilty and my confidence and trust in humanity has been rocked to the core but I am determined to get justice through working with Immigration Marriage Fraud UK and the government agencies and hope they will in this election year make an example of him and deport him back to India. To help the cause I have accrued a mountain of incriminating evidence including a copy of his marriage certificate to the 2nd wife. I am happy to support Immigration Marriage Fraud UK and the campaign for justice and changes to the laws to close the loopholes that exist.
AS’s Story + Accusation of Domestic Violence - December 2014
In January 2012 I was introduced to Mr G S now 34years old ( from India) by my friend T (British citizen) and her husband J (from India), whom had met each other via internet dating site Shaadi.com and are happily married.
I saw Mr G in her wedding film and they told me he was looking to get married and a very nice guy. Mr G and Mr J were friends from a gym they attended in their home town in India, Punjab.
I started to speak to Mr G via Facebook messages and Skype and always made the phone calls to him, as he voiced it was cheaper for me to call him. I started to feel a strong connection with Mr G and just knew he was the one for me. I told my parents and In March 2012 I flew out to India with my parents. However, my parents disagreed about me getting married in India, as they were trying to explain to me that people in India marry just for a visa to UK. I didn't believe in this and thought it was unfair to make judgement because they are from India. I was humble, naïve and see the good in others. I told my parents I would only marry him as I liked Mr G so much and thought he was the one for me.
My parents gave in and both families got us both engaged. My father and mother were not at all happy; even my photos of engagement show their expressions. I spent a few weeks around Mr G getting to know him more. Finally I returned with my family to UK in April 2012. My parents kicked up a fuss to breaking off the engagement and stated they wouldn't go back to get me married to him, because they did not want me to marry him. I was told to leave my home by my parents because I did not back down.
Mr G lived with his mother whom was religious and believed in god, so I felt they were aN honest, humble and a religious family. Mr G's father had passed away in Nov 2011 and had 3 sisters and he was the only son/brother and the youngest of them all. So he was very spoilt and treated like a special gifted son by his mum and sisters. My husband, Mr G was aware what had happened with my parents, and I told him, his sisters and family.
Mr G had two sisters that lived in London, second oldest 40 years old single Miss AK and the 3rd oldest Mrs MB 38 years old who was married with a 1 Year old daughter (at that time). They all had a meeting with each other via Skype and Mr G, his mum and first elder sister Mrs NK lives in India with her husband and two teenage daughters opposite Mr G’s house. They all agreed to continue to carry on the marriage without my parents but ask my sister whom I lived with to give me away instead. I even stated that because of my parents backing away, I don't know what else to do, but if they want to back away then it will just have to be, but Mrs MB and Miss A K said all their relatives knew and it would cause shame. I then said they can blame me for breaking of the engagement. However they continued with the marriage.
After leaving my parents I moved to a different City where my elder widow sister lived, who has no children but has nurtured me from childhood . She stood by me and supported and gave me away in India. None of my brothers, sisters, parents and relatives came to the wedding which was in January 2013. I flew to India with my sister and married Mr G; my sister and I paid for majority of the wedding and even for my husband’s wedding outfits.
I had filed for spouse visa in Early February 2013 and handed my husband the documents to check and give to Immigration services in India, I had paid for his file £1000 was transferred to him. In March 2013 my husband was given a 2 years and 9 months spouse visa to the UK, but he waited in until his mother got a visit visa, which his sisters applied for. On the 7th May 2013 Mr G flew over to UK bringing his mother with him. My husband was aware I was living with my sister and did not have my own accommodation even before the wedding, because my sister took me in and put her address down in the immigration file to where he would be living.
I was so full of joy that my husband was finally arriving in to the UK after just being married and not having much time together after marriage. I was working an early morning (7am) shift (as I am a surgical nurse) on the day of arrival to UK, after work I had travelled to London to collect my husband and mother-in law from the airport and stayed one night in London, which I requested from my manager. However my husband wanted to stay the first one week at his sisters with his mother, I was confused but just agreed to it.
Mr G finally came to my sisters, after I collected him from London. I did everything and so did my sister to make him comfortable and financially supported him. I discussed with him that this is only temporary living with my sister until we both can save a bit of money and buy our own property, which he wanted to rent instead. However I wanted to buy a home for us and get a mortgage out, he agreed. After staying with me and my sister every time I had two days off he would want to go back and forth to London, I did it because he missed his mother, although he would ring his sisters and mother twice or even three times throughout the day, every day. It exhausted me driving up and down London from Coventry after working 5 days in a row shifts. My husband didn't have a phone so he would use mine and save numbers of friends and give out my number for contact until his sister Miss AK brought him a contract chip in her name.
After a month of being in UK the arguments started when I used to say about him keep going to London to stay and I used to stay in Coventry because I had work. he started arguing about renting a place out too and that he wanted to move out from my sisters. He wanted me to move to London closer to his sisters. I then started noticing a pattern that his sisters would say the same words to me that "you need to be close to family and you need family around when you have children to teach them their tradition, otherwise they will become too out of control and western". I then started to feel it was not a marriage with just me and my husband but his family too. My husband would discuss everything with his mother and sisters. That upset me, but every time I discussed how I felt my husband Mr G would end up arguing shouting and swearing, this he did in my sister’s house in front of her. My sister was horrified and would tell me off and try to sort the situation out. I was trying to save to buy a home and get some stability for our future, but my husband wanted to move. I agreed we would move, I started applying for jobs in London, I agreed to be close to his family, although I was aware they was creating arguments in my marriage too but my husband was a part of it too. To keep him happy I agreed to move to London. Arguments would be because I never phone his mum every day or his sisters, wanting to go London and stay frequently there, living at my sisters, how he is bored in Coventry and there were no jobs for him. He would do trial jobs and leave saying it’s not for him, I would support him in his decisions too.
I finally got 3 job interviews in London hospitals, but just before the interviews I found out on 18th June 2013 that I had fallen pregnant and I had messaged my husband, who at this time was staying in London again. He told his sisters and mum at the time and they messaged me saying congrats and were happy for me. My husband came back from London the next day, I had not been feeling too well and in the first 6 weeks of my pregnancy I had to take time off work for sick, due to fainting and low blood pressure. Whilst being off sick my husband wasn't too happy that I was pregnant and discussed with his sisters and mother not to have the baby, as he had no job and home. I discussed with him and told him that we will have a home and everything will fall in place. Whilst on sick leave my husband continued back and forth to London. Again, I would get upset as I needed him around, but again this would create arguments. He would emotionally blackmail me that I was jealous from his sisters and don't want him to be around his family and that I wanted to control him and have him all to myself. I was very upset by this and end up leaving him to do what he wanted, because he would tell this to his mother and sisters, who then would treat me differently.
I still attended the interviews but was honest about my pregnancy and see if they would offer me anything whilst on maternity leave. I was offered the jobs but had to reject them because I needed the maternity leave as I was the only one working and bringing financial income for me and my husband, especially with a baby on its way. I had to think about the future ahead for my unborn baby. However, my husband caused arguments regarding me rejecting the jobs, he stated I planned my pregnancy so I never had to move to London, his sisters would make comments that I never wanted to move to London, when I was around them too. This made me realise that my husband and his sister were assuming things and my husband would argue with me. My mother in law would also do the same.
On the 20th August 2013 my husband Mr G and I finally rented an apartment in Coventry, because he argued that he wants out from my sister’s house and that I am controlled by my sister to argue with him, which was not the case as my sister hardly would stay at home and would try to resolve our arguments instead and tell me off too.
My sister bought and paid for some of the furniture for my new place, however my husband was still not working. My husband wanted a 2 bedroom apartment so his mum would stay with us and must be ground floor as she can’t climb stairs, so after meeting both their requirements we finally found the ideal apartment. I paid for rent, gas, electricity, Seven Trent, TV licence, council tax for both, weekly food/groceries and some furniture and electric goods, money for my husband when needed and all clothing, Moses basket, changing unit, all baby essentials for when my baby was to arrive. I was living on only my wage and running a entire home, bills etc. My husband would go gym and gurdwara (temple) and home he kept saying there was no jobs around Coventry. He would do trial jobs and say they were no good.
I worked hard to support my home, husband and for the arrival of my baby, I knew it was going to be hard. After moving in my husband and I was getting on well first month and the arguments started again about him staying up London, me not phoning his mum and sisters every day. My husband lived with me and knew my routine from when I would wake up and cook food for him and rush to go to work has I had set shifts from 13:15pm start till 21:15pm, due to fainting at work and was heavily pregnant. I just didn't understand why my husband didn't say I'm always rushing to go work because I was spending half the morning cooking breakfast and his dinner later for him because of the night I would return from work and would be very exhausted. In October 2013 his mother returned back to India, as usual he phoned everyday and I would try speak to her quickly on the phone too, but on my days off I would make time to call or text his sisters and mother.
What I had started to notice was his sisters would call on his mobile in front of me talk have a conversation for 20-30 minutes and then put the phone down but never ask how I am or speak to me. my husband would then get in to an argument that I don't call them and wanted me to ask them to come and stay and visit our place literally every time, but call each and every one sister and even the brother in law. I started to realise the petty arguments he was having and that his own sister Mrs MB who never worked was instigating him and causing arguments also his mother would too. I was too scared to mention what his family was doing because when I did the once he got very aggressive and would shout and swear saying I was jealous of his family and don't want to be a part of them, which would upset me. I did most of what he would ask me for, which would be ringing and texting his sister and brother in law to come and stay, just to keep the peace in my home. I spent a lot of my pregnancy crying and upset. I realised my husband’s decisions was mostly made by him asking his mum and Mrs MB sister mostly who he spent a lot of time on the phone to.
I worked up until 4th January 2014 after I went on 4 weeks annual leave and then was straight on my maternity leave. I had worked all through Christmas eve and day, boxing day, new years eve and day.
My baby was not due till 18th February 2014. we both knew we were having a daughter as we wanted to know the sex of our baby on my 21 weeks scan, but however my husband was told by his mum and friends/ family in India that he was having a boy, which confused me. My husband was told by the midwife and my gynaecologist consultant and myself twice its a girl, he was present at all scans. I was having scans every month because of my medical condition and my husband and his family was aware of this too, but they continue to stress me out. It came to my attention and my sister's that there was no real care or joy of my pregnancy and none of them would ask much about my pregnancy. Only the last 4 months my husband started showing a bit of affection to my bump.
My husband started doing Friday and Saturday nights delivery in a Chinese's takeaway for a friend and then got a Sunday few hours in the morning working in a Nissa store just a walk away from our place, but yet I never asked any payment off him has he was not earning enough.
On the 29th January 2014 I had to go in to hospital after feeling unwell and was told by the midwife that I was in labour. On Friday 31st January 2014 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl 5lbs 11ozs. Once coming home with the baby, my husband’s sister Mrs MB would make unpleasant comments. His family did not come to visit the baby whilst I spent 3 days in hospital. Again my husband wanted me to ask and invite them to the house to see the baby, I said to him they are family and family are always welcome, its home to them too. When the baby was 7 days old then his two sisters and brother in law and little niece arrived and stayed the night. My husband knew I was unwell and so did his family, but he and his sister Mrs MB was annoyed with me has they wanted me to me to cook and run around for them (host). He started giving me angry stares and his sister Mrs MB held my daughter and made a comment that she was a very red baby and that she is tiny because the mother never used to eat, etc. my husband would say this to me too and so did Miss AK. this really upset me and I started to see that they was being unpleasant. After his family left he was not talking to me and started an argument off.
My elder sister came to stay and help me for a few weeks because I had stitches and a very traumatic labour. The arguments started again and he even upset and told my sister to leave. He argued and raised his voice in front of the baby. She left and never came back to the house. On the 4th of March (my baby was 4 weeks old at this time) my husband argued with me and raised his voice, swearing whilst I was holding my newborn and smacking is hand against the wall. He tried to smash my phone because he knew I started to record the arguments due to his lies he started saying to my sister. He said some nasty things. The argument was that I phoned him clearly because I was worried about our daughter being unwell and colic and infected BCG injection site. He stated that he didn’t have the time and I should know better he is working, but yet when I said he rang his sister while at work to find out how is niece was because she had been unwell, yet had a issue for me to call about his daughter and how is that different. He was very angry and told me I compared our daughter with his niece and I was jealous, etc. However the neighbours heard the shouting and the police arrived. The two officers split us in different rooms, I was holding my baby. He asked if I was okay and I said it was just an argument, however my husband started to cry to the other police officer in our bedroom, he made out that I was abusing him. The officers asked us to apart for a few hours, but instead my husband packed his suitcase and told them he was not coming back. The police told him to take his house keys, stated he don't need them any more. He left and the officers was concerned about me and the baby, but I said I was okay. The officer that was with my husband, voiced that he was a drama queen and trying to play the victim. After the police left I tried to contact my husband to come home and sort the issue out. He ignored my calls and texts. I contacted his family friend and police officer and explained what happened but it felt as he already knew what happened and acted as he had not heard from him. I did not contact his family or sister as I believed they always took his side in all our arguments and they knew anyway what happened, but no one had called me.
I had phoned my sister and told her what had happened. She was shocked but was too scared to come over as my husband continued to blame her for the problems. 2 weeks after my husband had gone he turned up with his police officer friend to collect his belongings. They both came in to the house and before leaving frightened me to take my baby to India and my husband got our wedding photos and faced them down and cursed and swore at me and left the house. On 28th March 2014 my husband and his friend came again this time to see his daughter for only 45mins and left. I begged my husband to come home and be a family again. I gave it 3 months and would email him updated photos of his daughter and text messages. I would get no replies from him apart from sending me malicious texts. I had to give up my home because I couldn't afford rent on my own being on maternity leave and my family found out what had happened, my parents asked me to come back home with my baby. In July 2014 I left my rented home and moved back to Birmingham. I already had contacted my solicitor because I never stopped my husband from seeing his daughter and in end of May 2014 I received a solicitors letter regarding contact to see my daughter in the temple, I took it to my solicitors who advised me that my husband was trying to use my daughter to obtain stay in the UK. That's when I realised his plan to come to the UK and was in shock that this seemed like a plan with his whole family involved. I told my solicitors I want his visa curtailed. There was no contacts made by him to see his daughter at all and he never came to see her at all the last time he seen our daughter was when she was nearly turning 2 months old.
In early November 2014 his visa was curtailed and asked to leave the UK voluntary or put in application for remain to leave on a different basis, however on the 19th December 2014, he has sent me court proceedings for contact with his daughter and divorce petition. My daughter is now turning 1 years old on the 31st January 2015, he has not provided any financial support for her or made or attempted any contact to see her until his been notified of his visa curtailed from the UKBA. Caafcas has been involved on the 26th January 2015 I have my first hearing. This has been a heart breaking and emotional year, I want justice for myself and more for my daughter, an innocent child. My daughter is my strength and life and soul of me no matter what has happened between my husband and myself, she is the innocent life here.
Marriage Fraud Stories from Jamaica
OEL’S Story 14.5.14
On 21 April 2012 my father was married at an Anglican Church in Sydenham. Marriage as far as I know is the union of two people who love and care for each other and normally is a cause of great celebration amongst the family. Not in this case. My father was 86 years old when he died on 19th April 2014 in Lewisham Hospital. My father had fallen victim to a Scam – he had been approached at a bus stop in Catford by a woman 30 years younger than himself, this was about a year before his marriage. My father had various ailments, but was relatively independent, he lived on his own in his 3 bedroom house. My brother, sister and myself supported my dad on a regularly basis with his household chores, shopping and medical appointments. Everything changed when he met a woman who is a visitor from Jamaica at the bus stop. My dad told us when he met this woman, stating that she had asked him if he owned his own property, and whether he would like her to visit him to help him in his home. Regrettably, my father accepted her offer. She then set about to groom my dad, gradually alienating him from his family, until we discovered in April 2012 that he had actually married her! No-one from my dad’s family was present at the wedding, and we were very surprised that they were able to be married. My dad had told us that she had wanted him to marry her, as she was in the UK as a visitor and wanted to remain here, and in return she offered to look after him and his home. She also told him that he should not let any of his family know about the wedding as we would try to stop it, and that it was our intention to put him in a Care Home, which was far from the truth – but my dad was elderly and vulnerable, with failing mental capacity, so he listened to her.
After their marriage I had very limited access to my dad, and discovered that she had arranged for the locks to be changed on his house, as I had a set of keys. We tried tirelessly to find out where the marriage had taken place, but all my dad could tell me was that it was in a large church in Sydenham, and there were a lot of people present, but he did not know any of them. I also received a phone call from my dad’s Bank Manager around the time of the marriage, as he was concerned about his behaviour, as my dad was always very careful with his finances and banking. The Bank Manager had called me, as I am named on my dad’s account, to say that they were slightly concerned as my dad was not acting himself when he had been into the branch on more than one occasion asking to withdraw a large sum of money from his account. When the bank manager asked him if everything was OK, he replied that he needed the money for building work on his house, then changed his mind and left the bank without pursuing with the transaction. My dad was not carrying out any building work. I have recently discovered that in the couple of years that my dad had been with this woman about £20,000 of his savings had been spent! This was totally out of character.
In December 2013 I visited my dad with my husband and 3 daughters, we were horrified to see the state my dad was in. He had lost a lot of weight, he was incontinent, and the clothes he was wearing were soaked in urine, his breathing was very laboured. When I asked this woman why had she not taken him to a Doctor, she remarked that he did not want to go, and became very aggressive. I contacted my dad’s GP to alert her to my concerns. Thankfully, the GP visited my dad and called an ambulance to have him admitted to the Hospital. When my dad was admitted to hospital he was diagnosed with suffering from Pneumonia, he had a heart attack and total renal failure. He was gravely ill. When she saw me at the hospital after my dad was admitted, she verbally attacked me, and I had to get the police involved, and filed a complaint against her. My dad spent 3 months in hospital, and was released on 7th March. The hospital had to release my dad into her care, as they are married she was regarded as his next of kin, however, the hospital were not convinced that she was capable of looking after my dad, so assigned care workers and a registered nurse to visit him. This did not happen, as within 48 hours of my dad being at home he was re-admitted to hospital in a Coma. This woman clearly was not looking after him.
Upon his readmission, my father’s mental state had deteriorated so much, he had no clear understanding of where he was or what type of care he needed. The hospital once again managed to treat my father, until he was ready to be discharged again. However, this time she argued about the stringent care package the hospital were insisting that he needed. They wanted 2 care works, plus 2 registered nurses to visit my dad in his home 4 times a day, plus a key safe put on the outside of my dad’s house, so they could gain entry, as Beverly was not always at home! She refused to allow this, even though my brother and I said that we wholly agreed for this care plan. The hospital therefore refused to release my dad from hospital, and he passed away on Easter Saturday, 19th April 2014. Unfortunately, I was unable to see my dad before he passed, I received a phone call at 8.30pm and he died at 8.45pm. It took me 45 minutes to arrive at the hospital, as I live about 20 miles away.
Since my dad’s death, I have discovered that my father’s marriage to this evil con-woman was a fraudulent marriage, i.e. a marriage of convenience. It was for the sole purpose to help her immigration application to remain in the UK. I have also discovered, through the help of my MP, that her application to remain in the UK and her right of appeal was refused on 30th March 2014, so she should not even be here masquerading as my dad’s wife!
I discovered that whilst my dad was lying on his hospital bed, most of the time quite oblivious to what was going on, this woman had used my dad’s cash card to withdraw £200 every other day from his bank account. The Bank have advised that this is fraud, as her name was not on the account, and they had not received permission from my father or myself for her to withdraw from this account. This account was set up by my dad to be used upon his death for his funeral expenses. The Bank advised that in the space of 3 months, she had withdrawn £3000 from this account. This account has now been stopped.
I also discovered that she had somehow managed to get her name put on the Title Deeds to my dad’s house. I am in the process of investigating how this could have happened, and whether there is fraud involved. As my dad kept insisting to my brother and me, that his so called wife had no ownership claim to his house, and he had only married her to help her to stay in the country. He also believed that the Will he had written in 2009 was still in place, and because of his limited mental capacity we were unable to convince him otherwise.
My dad had lived in his house for 18 years, and got on very well with his neighbours. They have told us that whilst my dad was in hospital, they were very dismayed to see a lot of comings and goings from my dad’s house, as this woman had sub-let the house to foreign students whilst he was in hospital. This was therefore the reason why she was so reluctant to the Care Plan, as it would have come to light that there were a lot of strangers in the house, which the hospital would not have been keen about, bearing in mind that my dad was a vulnerable, elderly man.
My family and I have raised all these issues with, the Archdeacon for Southwark and the Minister of the church where the marriage took place. We have said that this marriage between my dad and this woman is no marriage, and should never have taken place, as it is a classic case of a Sham/fraudulent marriage. The Priests suspicions should have been raised when this woman brought my dad to him! However, the Church have responded saying that, following their investigations, they are happy that the necessary preliminaries were carried out to allow this marriage to go ahead. We are beginning to suspect that maybe the Anglican Church benefitted financially from going ahead with this marriage! Our family strongly disagree with this marriage for the following reasons:
The 30 year age difference between my dad and her;
My dad has 7 children, sadly two have passed away, two live overseas, and then there is my brother, sister and myself – who are very close to my dad – we were raised by him! Between us we have 10 children. Also my dad comes from a very large family, he has over 20 nieces and nephews, a majority of them live in Birmingham and the South of England. So why was none of his family at the wedding
This woman was unable to show any recognised legal form of ID to the Church; her passport was with the Home Office, and she produced a letter from the Border Agency stating this fact, she produced a Jamaican birth certificate and a workplace ID – given the fact that she is not legally supposed to be working in the UK, how can this be a valid form of ID. For all we know, she could be already married in Jamaica or her identity could be false – our family have been trying to find a record of this woman’s existence in Jamaica, and so far we have not found any trace of her, as we do not know her date of birth or the Parish she came from – this information is not on the marriage certificate!
This woman is now proving herself to be a very evil and calculating person. The hospital and police ordered a full post-mortem to be carried out on my dad to establish cause of death, as he passed away very suddenly in hospital. There will also be a full toxicology investigation carried out. However, in the meantime she is demanding the death certificate, stating that she is entitled to this as she is the next of kin. The only reason why she wants this document is so that she can carry on claiming money from my dad’s estate. I have now appointed a solicitor to help us with this case; the solicitor has advised that her next move will probably be to transfer my dad’s house solely into her name or her daughters’. When we have made enquiries about my dad’s funeral, she has said that we can find out about this from the newspaper! This is extremely hurtful for all our family, as it means my dad’s funeral will probably be attended by mainly strangers, again with none of his family present – just like his marriage! We have been told that in order to continue fighting this case, our Lawyers will require a further £5000, which is money we just do not have. So it appears that she will get away with stealing our families inheritance if she is not stopped soon.
I never believed that our family would be in this predicament, my dad was always a very careful family man, and it is only because of his lack of mental capacity in the last stage of his life, that he was able to be duped into marrying a con-woman. This woman is a manipulating person, who has managed to abuse my dad both mentally and financially. Our family will fight for what is right to the last minute to salvage my dad’s dignity and our family’ inheritance. My father worked extremely hard all his life and saved hard, and to have everything taken from him by a common criminal is not right, and I cannot understand why or how the Anglican Church is upholding this marriage – theirs was never a marriage – my father was incapable of consummating a marriage, and therefore this Union should be seen as a Blessing – and nothing more. We also cannot understand why this woman is still in the country if her application to remain in the UK was refused and her right of appeal was also refused!
My daughters’ – my dad’s grandchildren are extremely upset by everything that has happened to their granddad, and they should not have the added stress of witnessing this state of affair at this time, particularly as two of them are in the midst of completing their GCSE’s and A level exams. They cannot understand why we will not be having a funeral service for their Granddad, and why we cannot visit his house – a home which they have visited on many occasions throughout their lives. Surely, this situation cannot be right!
I have set up a donation page on Indiegogo as we need to raise the funds for the legal fees to fight this case, before it is too late and she gets away with our families inheritance. I am also in the process of setting up an e-petition on the Government website to highlight the fact that Immigration Marriage Fraud is a crime and the people who carry out these awful actions should be treated as Criminals.
Jamaican Marriage Fraud involving an 'anchor' child - J's Story
I married a Jamaican girl in 2006. It was nice at first but soon changed once we wed. I noticed a cold and nasty side to her that I had not noticed prior to our marriage. She had informed me that she had no agendas and that she was legal and married me for love; this was untrue in many ways as I was to find out.
I had noticed how she was filling out forms a few years into our marriage and how she would say they were to help her in remaining in the uk. I questioned that and had a nasty, vicious reply of "mind you own business and let me deal with it".
I never remembered signing any forms to help her with her application for indefinite leave to remain in the UK.
Several years after we were wed I had a letter from the Home Office. This in itself was odd as she had never lived with me and always rented a house. Although I owned my own property she refused to live with me, It was then I started to feel something was wrong. It turned out to be a letter regarding her stay and it was granted. She gave out a big whoo and ran off up the road. Later that day I went to her house in the usual way and she was cold towards me, looked at me like I was an intruder in her home and this was the norm from then on.
I must mention she attacked me with a knife on one occasion and pushed hot water from a kettle towards me. In 2014 I found out she was having a relationship with a man who lived in the Cayman Islands and he was a married man with children. I also found out she was in this relationship before she even met me and had carried it on throughout our sham marriage. She would fly out to meet him two or more times a year and tell me that she was going to the US to visit her family, then fly out to Jamaica to meet up with him. On concluding her name was added to my property in 2013 due to me nearly loosing my home. She added her name saying it was to help me remain there and that she wanted nothing in return and that it was for my children from a long time relationship. This was also untrue as she has filed for divorce and seeks 50% of the value.
If she succeeds which she no doubt will due to how this age old law works in the UK I will be made homeless after paying for my property for the past 28 years, I have filed a complaint to the police regards the assaults and obtained a crime number, not sure how they intend to proceed with this if at all. I have a solicitor who sends out a few letters and spends an hour on my case then emails me saying I need pay more so I have to wait until I can pay her, hence the divorce taking forever.
Marriage Fraud Stories from Japan
25.2.14 MA's Story - a clear story of false domestic violence accusation
I am at the stage I don't believe anyone cares or will listen, the times I have tried and it ended with me being locked up took all the fight out of me and a lot more. I feel now it is just something have to live with and what happened and just try to forget about it and carry on with my life. This is my experience.
Case/Event 1: My estranged wife, came to the UK from Japan on the 26 August 2012 after 11 months of fighting for her spousal visa; My estranged wife left me and moved to London on the 18th October just over 7 weeks of us being apart for 11 months. She gave me 18 hours notice that she was moving to London and she never came back. How it made me feel ? I was devastated, upset and let down. But I promised her I would not interfere in her life and that I would move to London in February 2013.
Case/Event 2 : I was unable to find a flat in London as you know how bad the housing situation is and I am disabled and on benefits it was hard to find somewhere to live. On the 14th March 2013 I went to visit my estranged wife in London and as soon as I turned up she was very cold towards me. It was 12:30 am when I arrived but there was not much conversation. The following day my estranged wife was at work till 3pm and when she got home from work she went to bed as she was back at work in the pub downstairs as a sound engineer so we had not really spoken so much. She came back to the room at 11:45 pm I was just on the bed when she walked in. I got up to make her a coffee and she turned on me trying to scratch at my eyes, I grabbed her wrists and she started scratching at my wrists. I had to restrain My estranged wife on the bed and I was pleading with her to stop but the look in her eyes was pure hatred. She kept screaming out `this is abuse, this is abuse` it took me 10 minutes to calm her down before I would let her go. Little was said between us after that, the day after I returned to Wigan on the 16th March.
How it made me feel : I was shocked, horrified in tears and could not get that look in her eyes of hatred towards me out of my head. I was confused as there was no provocation from me, and I could not find any reason why she did this.
Case/Event 3: My estranged wife phoned me time and time again she told me she was just tired but she never apologised or said sorry for what she had done. On the 24th March My estranged wife turned up at my house at 2:30 am without telling me she was visiting, it was very tense we talked for a while then went to bed only waking up late on Saturday. I made her some dinner and after that I did her washing that she had brought with her. It was 7:30 pm I was taking her clothes out of the washing machine and putting them on the maiden in front of the fire to dry, when I walked in the room she had taken our wedding photo off the wall and tore it in half from top to bottom, she then threw and smashed an empty coffee cup against the wall kicked the coffee table over breaking that then she turned on me, the maiden with the cloths on she picked up and threw across the room breaking that. She then attacked me with her nails, she caught me just under the left eye with a scratch again. I tried to grab her wrists to stop her but she just kept scratching at my wrists with my arms covered in blood, finally I managed to get firmly hold of her wrists and I was pleading with her to stop. She stopped scratching but she had the look of hatred on her face. I sat her down on the settee and I sat on a chair crouched over with my face in my hands wondering what the hell am I going to do. I did not hear or see my estranged wife get up and came towards me then she punched me across the side of my face with the inside of her fist knocking me of the chair onto the floor. I was on my hands and knees crying as I knew that I could not put up with this anymore and our marriage was over. When I stood up My estranged wife took up a posture of someone ready to be hit but I would never do that I just held her in my arms and said I’m sorry and what I meant by that was that our marriage was over. We did not talk much till she caught the train back to London at 2:30pm on a Sunday. How it made me feel: I can never describe how low I felt, crying for 2 days because now I understood what she was trying to do. As my estranged wife is in the UK on a spousal visa we have to be together for 2 years before she can get a full visa but if I had hit her she could have claimed spousal abuse against me and she would be allowed to stay in the UK no matter what. This was the worst feeling as I did not know why she used such tactics, she would not tell me why and until this day I do not know why and for what reason she did what she did.
Case/Event 4 : I knew our relationship was over but I needed to get my clothes from her flat in London and my house keys of her now I knew that she was trying to make me hit her I was very careful in all my actions. I kept trying to tell her the relationship was over but she would not accept this. She made my life hell till and on the 7th of July I told her and made her listen that I would not accept this behaviour and tried to leave her flat. As I put cloths into my bag she would throw them out it took me 6 hours to get out of her flat. How it made me feel: I was sad in my heart I loved her so much but my head was saying ‘stay away from my estranged wife as she is dangerous’. I went into a deep depression that I still have. I have thought about suicide and then had to turn to my GP who put me on anti depressants But never knowing why she did what she did I fell apart big time and I am still so confused as in my heart I love her so much but my head is fighting this, I am a mess now.
Case/Event 5: 14th August I got a phone call from the police in Brixton south London saying I had to attend Brixton police station or face arrest. On the 18 August I attended Brixton police station and from there I was taken to Kennington police station where I was locked in a corridor with nothing to drink and no toilet for 6 hours before I was interviewed. When I was interviewed my estranged wife had told the police that sometime in mid July she did not know the date that we was arguing about private renting or getting a council property when I punched her on one side of her face then punched her on the other side of her face knocking her to the floor then I kicked her in the stomach.
When she was asked about anyone who saw her injuries but she could not give a name of anyone who saw any injuries even though she kept working in her cleaning job and sound engineering. The police officer who took her statement did not really believe what she said, I was not charged. How it made me feel: I was not surprised as I knew she was trying to get me to hit her but I could not believe she told the police complete lies and her statement about my alleged abuse was so outrageous I was wondering if she had mental health problems. But when I was locked up I was getting very scared as I did not know what she had told them and these were serious charges. I was also very angry at the police for how I was treated over such unbelievable story as I had left her on the 7th July and was not even in London. Even though I made a statement about her abuse towards me, and the complete lies she had told the police about an assault that never happened that no action was taken against her.
Case/Event 6: These are other cases. In February she stole £400 from me when I asked her why she just changed the subject and said we are now family and everything should be ours and not just mine or hers. In July when I had left her I realised she had changed my gas and electric to another energy supplier this she had done in February and put it in her name all the bills were paperless so with all the problems that had been going on I had not noticed she used my debit card without my knowing. She did this because as an immigrant she could not open a bank account without a utility bill with her name on it so she falsely opened a bank account with my address even thought she was not living here. From July to September I was emailing her about the energy suppliers that I wanted stopped, I wanted other documents back with my address on and also I kept asking for a explanation as to why she had done what she did, my reply came from Brixton police that I would be arrested for harassment if I sent anymore emails. A few weeks after this I was having a breakdown and in my heart I still loved her so I sent My estranged wife a txt that just said `I miss you and will always love you` she took that to the police and told them I had also sent more messages that I didn`t so Brixton police again threatened to arrest me
How it made me feel? Very angry, My estranged wife had used me and lied to me about her love for me just to gain her visa, she seems to have been setting me up from the day she arrived in the UK. I am angry at the UKBA as I have sent them 14 letters complaining about her and that she should be deported but they have done nothing. The police have totally ignored all my complaints about her yet she can walk in to a police station tell a pack of lies and I am threatened with arrest. I have never been in any trouble with the police ever, yet since I left my estranged wife I have been threatened with arrest 3 times locked up for nearly 6 hours and been treated so badly.
SW's Story - Japan (False Accusation of DV and putting a charge on the house)
I been married to a Japanese woman for some 4 yrs; she has been living a single woman's life under the guise of marriage! She goes back to Japan every year and works part time there, she also has job here as carer in nursing home.
We are getting divorced she has gone down the DV route nothing came of it as there was non just the solicitors grabbing money, my money is frozen in the sale of my house why she has over 20k in her bank account. We did a quick marriage in Japan now i know why, fast track visa non i know why, she used me to get a foothold in the UK, so do I report this to the visa people? Any help would be good.
The house I got in march 2010 she paid in £17,000 and did the kitchen at £1500. The house needed a lot of work that I did, so she had in this house £18500; the rest was all mine. She did the land registry block in August last year after the house being on the market for 2.5 yrs and being sold since late May. Just going though the slow solicitors paperwork. This came as a shock to me that she was contemplating divorce and blocked the sale so I was in fact blackmailed to have my money held till we sort out who had what in the house. That came out in April this year at mediation so I am still here waiting for my money frozen but her bank account is free with over 29k in that I know off; what she has in Japan is another matter.
She told me that she wanted to go back to Japan and take her money that she put in this house. I agreed if that was what she wanted then so be it, all lies. When I look back; met her online silly of me I know. Went over there to see her a few times and she here. Then she came out I want to get married! So soft me we got married in Japan. Then I said I would like to live in Japan as I work in IT so could get a job maybe for US as she was the guarantor in this wither own house as i did not have one. She is is on about seeing a solicitor and also my wife told lies about my mother that my mother is not happy about another story. So back to Japan fast wedding if you can call it that; then here and fastrack visa as she said law changes in the next few months to 5 yrs wondewhy!
She went back to Japan every year; she did her English exam and that here after 2 yrs she got a job nursing home as carer. So worked 2 yrs never paid penny after what she paid in the house at the start; went back to Japan and did part time work at the hospital she worked at in Kobe.
This country seems to bend backwards towards anyone that is not from the UK.
She got legal aide in mediation and a Japanese translator she does not need. A waste of tax payers money but what can you do ?
She lived and worked in Australia for 3 yrs living with a oz man; I was told after the marriage to me!
She has done nothing but lies the domestic violence nothing came of that police; in fact I would say it was her and her ways towards me that was DV.
We made an agreement that she take all the furniture and my laptop and old mobile and £20k. She agreed then it was kicked back at me when these solicitors got in on the act, note that her solicitors got closed down by the SRA in may this year (2015) so that delayed a lot. She was not bothering getting a
solicitor then why should she? She has got her bank savings and job and rented house. Me got nothing now with my money frozen and she plays about.
I can see now things in this relationship from the start what she did and what she says; she even once asked me to get another house so she can live here on her own! But her words against mine.
I will travel back to Japan next year and face her mother and family and tell them the shame this woman had brought to me and my family with all the lies.I will write to the Visa people and give them info and also my local MP about this for me this stinks of fraud to use me to get in the UK. She once said to me I love to live in OZ but the UK is better than nothing.
Anyways I will keep you updated on this but the government should look into how they can come here do what they want and get away with it. Its not right, 4 yrs of a married lie. My sisters and friend's wife used to say when she had gone back to Japan again, the house looked like a single man's house. Yes, she got a lot of money. Why silly me spent all mine and is now frozen till I go to court. She left me doing the divorce after her starting it. She does not want to spend?
Its joke told all this to my solicitor and been told she has now got another solicitor since. Lets see may this year and October! They know how to play the system don't they?
I have all paperwork and a recorded mess of her that I will use as evidence, nothing about the marriage break up. Even got an email from her asking me to pick her up at the airport coming back from Japan. I said we got some house viewers she asked me to lay up her jewellery; nothing about she did not know the house was for sale; its there in black and white.
Marriage Fraud Stories from Senegal
I met Laye Sow in London and we married in a Muslim Ceremony in Senegal and a Registry Office one in the UK June 2008. I was told that his first wife Diarri had died. This I do believe. I was informed he had 3 children. One was staying with the Diari’s family as they wanted to bring her up. The other two were living with one of his sisters who could not have children.
Due to the language barrier I could not speak to his family. However I bought clothes for them and gave money for their school fees, food and books.. On several occasions he sent over containers of furniture which I now suspect had just been going to his wife.
My husband systematically drained my bank account. Due to a sequence of terrible events I was recently to find out that he had fathered another child in the UK, owed money left right and centre, had scammed other people for large amounts of money. The level of deceit that I know he is capable means that he truly believe I have been long conned as I am in possession of evidence that seems indisputable. 1) A Police Report naming this second wife. 2) 3 statements from people, 3) Western Union slip going to the person named and I am obtaining more.
Now he is wanting to Divorce and to take half the proceeds of my two houses. He received his Citizenship this summer. What can you do to help.
In October 2004, I met a tall, handsome African guy when he was working on security at a night club in London, where my friend was a DJ. He had been educated in the USA, so had a slightly American accent and had travelled the world with his family with his U.N.-employed father. Over a week later he called to ask me on a date. The date went well and our relationship began from there. As I lived 160 miles away, I didn't see much of him, apart from when he was at work. I did go to stay with him once and he came to stay with me but it was a typical long-distance relationship. We would talk on the phone a few evenings a week and saw each other at weekends.
Alarm bells started to ring when he went missing for over a week - his phone rang out with no answer. I was about to drive to London to check up on him when he finally answered his phone. Apparently his grandmother had died in Senegal and he had left his phone charging at home and forgotten to take it with him, and it was an emergency so he didn't have time to tell me. In time there were more occasions when he didn't answer his phone or didn't phone when he said he would and, when I got suspicious he would tell me I was being immature and needed to grow up. We had been together about 8 months when he invited me to go to Gambia and Senegal to meet his family, see where he was from and "to show them we were serious about each other" as well as a vague hint of a proposal while we were there.
Desperate to know more about him, and ignoring the fact that he made excuses not to meet my family, I jumped at the chance. In July 2005, we flew to Gambia, where we stayed for a couple of days before driving to Senegal. Gambia was fantastic and all his friends and family were so welcoming and friendly. When we got to Senegal it was a different story. The atmosphere was tense and I didn't feel welcome, as well as the obvious language barrier. I felt scared. The female members of the family looked me up and down and, even though they spent 2.5 days braiding my hair, didn't say a word to me. I still don't know to this day how they were related - they could possibly have been his other wives, although he convinced me he was Catholic and so did not agree with polygamy.
While we were in Senegal he told me that the next day I was to dress in my best dress and we were going to get engaged. His cousin came to pick us up and we went to what can only be described as a Registry Office. He assured me that this was an engagement and that, even if we split up in the future it wouldn't mean a thing. This was just "our way of showing the family that we will get married", or as I interpreted it, an engagement. I was a little confused that he was given a certificate, which he wouldn't let me see, and a little book to record our children in. As there had been lots of cultural things I'd learned whilst I was away, I trusted what he said as the truth. I should have realised something was up when he told me that they don't have engagement rings in Africa!
When it came to the day I was going home, he took me on a long drive. I felt like there was something he needed to tell me but he didn't say it. Instead he told me that he would be staying for 4-6 weeks, which he had mentioned before, to get a few things sorted there, including the building of a new house on land he had shown me, where we would stay when we visited Gambia with our babies after we were married.
While we were in Gambia, his cousin had given him a SIM card to use in his phone - it's only because I had to memorise the number for him that I knew his mobile number to call him when I returned to the UK. Looking back now, he seemed genuinely surprised when I phoned him to tell him I was home safely. Yet again, another long distance relationship began! Weeks and months passed and he didn't return to the UK, with excuses of sick family, setting up businesses, building work, etc. I decided to go to visit him for a long weekend (Friday to Tuesday) in December 2005. He seemed distant and had a few "business meetings", leaving me home alone, but we had a nice weekend together. This was the last time I saw him.
As time went on, the relationship became strained. Phone calls became few and far between. A couple of years in I decided that enough was enough and ended things over the phone but he was adamant that we could work things out between us and he would be coming to the UK "soon". That was when the can of worms opened. I started to receive documentation from UK Immigration containing copies of forms appealing the refusal of his visa application, copies of fake supporting documents, my signature forged on documents, and a copy of that marriage certificate I was never allowed to see. My details were all correct but his documents contained a fake name, which I have since found out was a combination of his grandfather's surname and his middle name with a few letters changed.
To cut a long story short I am currently getting a divorce with a UK-based solicitor that specialises in divorce with international aspects. I am also paying back debts of thousand of pounds which were all the occasions I paid for his flights between Gambia and Senegal, flights to the UK which he then "missed", money I lent him which was promised to be paid back, loans (in my name) for setting up his business in Gambia and building our house over there, as well as moeny I sent when his wallet was stolen, when he ran out of fuel driving between countries and had left his wallet in Gambia/Senegal, when I put credit on his phone, not to mention the fact that he took my spending money off me when I arrived so that we could get a better exchange rate...then he kept the money and I had to ask if I wanted to buy a drink or presents. I have asked him to pay back what he owes me and, not surprisingly, he has not replied to my email.
When the divorce is finalised, I would like to pursue the Marriage Fraud but, with legal fees for the divorce currently standing at around £3000, I would need to pay these off before I can even think of entering into another legal battle.
Email is now the only way I have of contacting him, but it isn't very successful. I have various phone numbers as he seems to change them frequently as he moves around the globe (Gambia, Senegal, USA, Sweden, Norway, Switzerland, etc.) and a few times in between.
As an intelligent, independent woman I feel completely stupid to be in this situation, and I doubt my intelligence every day. This whole experience has made me cynical and wary of making new friends and letting anyone new into my life. I am not the friendly, warm person I was 10 years ago, which is probably how I ended up in this mess in the first place.
I just hope I'm not the only innocent woman who has been fooled by this criminal!
My heart goes out to anyone in this situation and I can only thank websites such as this for uniting us so that we can support each other through these difficult times.
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